A leak in the New York Giants organization revealed to the media earlier this week that Head Coach Tom Coughlin is in fact a large testicle. Giants' owner John Mara was quoted as saying "This is not a big shock to the Giants organization, as we have known for some time about Tom's condition...We had internal discussions a few months ago and concluded that we are quite content with a testicle as our head coach. Tom's won a Super Bowl for us and we are confident he can do it again." Mara also added that the team will "help (Coughlin) with handling the media frenzy."
None of Coughlin's assistant coaches could be reached for comment, although it was overheard that Defensive Coordinator Bill Sheridan asked Coughlin whether it was "true that (Coughlin) produces millions of sperm per day." Coughlin could be seen with a disgusted look on his face.
Questions are sure to arise as to the legitimacy of the Giants Super Bowl XLII victory and all other victories while Coughlin was head coach. The NFL will surely investigate whether it is within the rules for a testicle to coach a team. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell commented that he was "upset that the Giants kept this from the league office." Goodell also commented that he had always been under the assumption that Coughlin was a "big dick and not a testicle."
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